(like last time, the free/strong distinction has no meaning here, and this is just the second batch of dudes.)
THE GOOD: Mike Brown (2000-2008) – In the early 2000s, the Bears had put together a core of a handful of star players that probably would’ve resulted in at least one championship with competent management. Mainly, this was on defense, which featured perhaps the best cornerback the Bears ever had in Charles Tillman, seven-time Pro Bowler and potential Hall-of-Famer Lance Briggs, a guy who briefly the best defensive tackle in football in Tommie Harris, and Alex Brown, all all-around playmaker who was way better than his stats ever indicated. Oh yeah, and they also had impending first-ballot Hall of Fame middle linebacker Brian Urlacher, who was pretty much the face of the NFL around 2002-2003ish. And, gentle reader, are you guys ready for the HOT TAKES? Well, while all this was going on, Mike Brown was the best player on the Chicago Bears. Urlacher may have been the face and the heart of the defense, but Brown was literally everything else. Brains, balls, pancreas, everything. He was in all places at all times, and could single-handedly decide the outcome of a game, as evidenced by literally winning two straight games with defensive touchdowns in 2001. (That was a magical season, where the Bears were awful, but finished 13-3, becoming the first “that’s true, but you know they lost eight of those games by a total of 13 points” team to ever actually score an extra 14 points) Eventually, the cursed 2004 season happened, and began a long and horrifying string of trips to injured reserve that crippled the Bears’ defense, and lasted until he was let go in 2009, but had that not happened, I truly believe the Bears would be sending two guys to Canton soon, instead of one. The Bears with Mike Brown on the field win Super Bowl XLI. I will always believe this.
THE BAD: Chris Conte (2011-2014) – I honestly feel bad about this one. Was he really *that* bad? Probably not, but he definitely wasn’t good, and he’s had the misfortune of becoming one of the most hated Bears of the last decade. (Also, for internet purposes, the Bears have suffered through a lot of “just some guy they threw out there” safeties, and there was only so much I could say about Kevin Payne or John Mangum that wasn’t just copied and pasted from Al Afalava.) So even though the dude’s nickname is “Birdman,” and anyone with a name like that has to be good people, I gotta put him here. The poor bastard’s entire career will forever hinge on one busted coverage in 2013 that cost the Bears both the NFC North title and a trip to the playoffs, and even worse, gave both of those things to the stupid Packers. And it’s a strange and terrible thing that keeping the Bears from achieving a first-round loss as a 9-7 team made this guy the most hated man in Chicago for at least a year or so, but that’s football for you. Football is stupid. Sports are stupid. Professional wrestling is the only true sport, and Minoru Suzuki is the only true professional wrestler.
THE HORROR: Danieal Manning (2006-2010) – The modern NFL isn’t like the NFL of our youth, (I’m assuming the only people who will ever read this are people old enough to have direct knowledge of the ’85 team. My god, we’ll all be dead soon) where a young player could be brought along slowly and developed into their final form over time. No, free agency and bigger, faster players doing more damage per hit means you can’t waste time with a young player. You have a four-year rookie contract to work with, you might not be able to re-sign them when that runs out, and they might get brain-blasted and knee-twisted out of the league before that, anyway. So of course, having drafted this raw talent from a tiny school, the Bears just dicked around for years with him. They switched him back and forth from safety to cornerback on what felt like a weekly basis, and he just never seemed to get the hang of either position, because he never had a chance to. But oh hey, what do you know, in spite of the Bears’ best efforts, he eventually blossomed into a fine safety, and formed one of the best tandems in the league with Chris Harris. For exactly one year. The final year of his contract. After which, he said “fuck this noise” signed with the Texans. Welp.
THE SENTIMENTAL FAVORITE: Shaun Gayle (1985-1994) – It’s crazy to think now, after recent years of random turds and senior citizens bumbling around back there, there was actually a time when the Bears had TWO Pro Bowl safeties, at the same time, even, when Shaun Gayle and Mark Carrier both went in 1991. And while he was only a starter for the Bears for five years, it really felt like he was a fixture forever; like a post-Gayle world would be unthinkable. I took a lot of comfort in knowing that he was always there, that he would always be there, and that he would always be pretty good. I think I took a lot of things like that for granted when I was young and full of hope. Everything would always be okay, the Bears would always have a steady supply of players like Carrier and Gayle, and they’d always finish the year with an 11-5 record. Now, I’m all shitty and old, desperately trying to convince myself that Adrian Amos is the hero that the 5-11 Bears need, and Shaun Gayle is less known for being a 1991 Pro Bowler than he is for being the pivot man in a love triangle that ended in one of his (apparently many, many, many) girlfriends murdering one of the others. GOTTA LOVE THE FUTURE, YOU GUYS, THIS IS NOT A NIGHTMARE HELLWORLD AT ALL.
Honorable Mentions: Tony Parrish (1998-2001), Marty Carter (1995-1998)
Dishonorable Mentions: Brandon Merriweather (2011), Major Wright (2010-2013)