(Again, like the strong/free safety thing, left/right doesn’t mean anything here; these are just the guys I decided to type about first when #7 came up on the random number generator, and left comes before right on the Tecmo Super Bowl team data screen . It makes sense to me, and that’s all that matters, pissant.)
THE GOOD: Keith Van Horne (1981-1993) – This dude never made the Pro Bowl as far as I can remember, he was never part of an all-decade team, and I’m assuming he’ll never be in the Hall of Fame. But he was always there for thirteen years, and while he was never an offensive line superstar like Jim Covert or Jay Hilgenberg, he was always at least good. And living with the reality we live in now, where finding offensive tackles who are at least good enough to start in the NFL is something the Bears try (and usually fail) to do every other year, that’s hard to fathom. Imagine it: Thirteen years of not having to worry about something. My god. Also, it’s funny, because I just remembered how when I was a kid, this guy seemed like the largest man in the history of the non-WWF world, just massive. And looking him up now, he was listed at 265 pounds, which is probably 50-75 pounds less than a 6’7″ offensive tackle tends to weigh in the modern world, which might have something to do with how 13-year starters don’t happen anymore. Love too take “supplements.” Anyway, I’d just like to say thank you, Keith. If you threw a party and invited everyone you knew, you would see the biggest gift would be from me, and the card attached would say “thank you for being a pretty good offensive tackle for a decade-plus.” Continue reading 1990-2017 ALL-TIME TEAM: LEFT TACKLE