Tag: tecmo super bowl iii

The Good: Martellus Bennett (2013-2015) – In the intensely unlikely event of this blog ever making it past the tight circle of *maybe* three people who follow me on Twitter and into the Greater Bears Internet, this will probably get me in trouble. Bears fans hate this guy. They hate him with the intense passion of a thousand supernovas, and at any point during his time with the Bears, you could go to Chicago, and on a night when the moon was full and the wind was still, you could close your eyes, clear your mind, and hear a thousand voices of a thousand mustachioed chuds screaming “stiiiiick to spooooooorts.” Let’s put it this way: Rob Gronkowski would spend his entire off-season on Gronk’s Cocaine Cruise, tag-teaming porn stars with Mojo Rawley, followed by staying injured for half the regular season, and he became a beloved folk hero, just good ol’ Fun-Lovin’ Gronk. Meanwhile, the Black Unicorn would take a weekend off to write a children’s book and record a mixtape, and some dickhead in a tshirt with a desert camo Bears logo would run to the Windy City Gridiron comments section to call him – you guessed it – a “locker room cancer.” Meanwhile, the typical racist NFL fan was too busy Making America Great Again to notice, but he was pretty much the best tight end this bullshit team had since Ditka, and helped form a Bears offensive Legion of Doom, where every skill position starter except Jay Cutler made the Pro Bowl and fooled us into thinking that the Marc Trestman era wasn’t going to be a screaming spiral into Incredible Hell.  Of course, nothing good can last, and that team fell apart quickly, and Marty was shipped off to the Patriots after three years, and it was kind of openly acknowledged that it was purely because John Fox just didn’t like him.  Fuck John Fox. Continue reading 1990-2017 All-Time Team: Tight End