Tag: the 1995 bears

1990-2017 ALL-TIME TEAM: LEFT DEFENSIVE END

(left/right means nothing here, and is just for organization purposes, WE’VE BEEN OVER THIS BEFORE, JERRY)

THE GOOD: Richard Dent (1983-1993, 1995) – Pretty much everything good I could say about this guy oughtta go without saying, but I really need to get a paragraph out of this, so here goes. This dude is an all-time great. He was a Super Bowl MVP, he had a million quarterback sacks, he was surprisingly good at dropping back into pass coverage for a big ol’ defensive lineman, and after a decade of me bitching online about it, he finally got into the Hall of Fame. Then, there was that time against the Bengals, where he was just completely, utterly blocked, but somehow managed to reach out with one hand and brutally throw Boomer Esiason’s dick into the dirt. And then, Boomer jumped up and squared up to him like he was going to try some shit, and Dent laughed in his face, and it was great.  Also, he was briefly part of the aforementioned semi-magical 1995 season, when they brought him back after taking a year off to win another Super Bowl in San Francisco.  Thing was, he came back for a couple games and seemed to do okay, but they still cut him in the middle of the season, probably because of Dave Wannstedt and the way he would start hissing and screaming “IT BURNS US” anytime someone would mention Mike Ditka.  So my conspiracy theory is that Richard knew this would happen and came back to warn us all, because he is A Good Man.  Stay woke. Continue reading 1990-2017 ALL-TIME TEAM: LEFT DEFENSIVE END

1990-2017 ALL-TIME TEAM: LEFT TACKLE

(Again, like the strong/free safety thing, left/right doesn’t mean anything here; these are just the guys I decided to type about first when #7 came up on the random number generator, and left comes before right on the Tecmo Super Bowl team data screen . It makes sense to me, and that’s all that matters, pissant.)

THE GOOD: Keith Van Horne (1981-1993) – This dude never made the Pro Bowl as far as I can remember, he was never part of an all-decade team, and I’m assuming he’ll never be in the Hall of Fame. But he was always there for thirteen years, and while he was never an offensive line superstar like Jim Covert or Jay Hilgenberg, he was always at least good. And living with the reality we live in now, where finding offensive tackles who are at least good enough to start in the NFL is something the Bears try (and usually fail) to do every other year, that’s hard to fathom. Imagine it: Thirteen years of not having to worry about something. My god.  Also, it’s funny, because I just remembered how when I was a kid, this guy seemed like the largest man in the history of the non-WWF world, just massive. And looking him up now, he was listed at 265 pounds, which is probably 50-75 pounds less than a 6’7″ offensive tackle tends to weigh in the modern world, which might have something to do with how 13-year starters don’t happen anymore. Love too take “supplements.”  Anyway, I’d just like to say thank you, Keith.  If you threw a party and invited everyone you knew, you would see the biggest gift would be from me, and the card attached would say “thank you for being a pretty good offensive tackle for a decade-plus.” Continue reading 1990-2017 ALL-TIME TEAM: LEFT TACKLE