* - Asterisk means I already had a good mp3 copy of this album, but threw up a few words anyway in the name of having an internet-based chronicle of all my legally-purchased, store-bought music

- Beavis Having Rad Times means that this CD's purchase was directly or indirectly influenced by the Beavis & Butthead television show

C

Cast Iron Hike - The Salmon Drive EP (1995, Big Wheel) - These dudes were a revelation in my early experiences as a dude just barely dipping a toe into the whole punk/hardcore/etc. thing. Amongst all of these pop-punk dudes singing out of their noses about girls who didn't like them or hardcore dudes either sing-talking or death metal grunting about unity, here was a band that was both borderline-metal as all hell, but also had an actual singer, with the notes and the singing and the melody and the thing and the stuff. Actually, it's not very punk rock at all.

Cast Iron Hike - Watch it Burn (1997, Victory) - In the legendary summer of '99, (or possibly 2000, I'm old and have had a lot of undiagnosed head injuries) one of my main internet dudes sent me a couple tapes (because low speed internet was still a thing and no one could afford a CD-RW drive yet) with a whole bunch of records on them that all ended up being all time favorite level stuff of mine, and this was one of them, along with stuff by Exhorder, Floodgate, and Only Living Witness. This was the official soundtrack of the year 2000 for me, at least until we put a clutch in the old '77 Datsun 280Z, meaning I gained a car but lost an excuse to drive a car that had a tape deck inside. At that point, the official soundtrack of my life became The Best of Bill Cosby, because that was the only working 8-track I had. Man, The Coz was such a huge part of my life for basically 90% of it. Goddammit.

*Celtic Frost - Morbid Tales/Emperor's Return (1984/1985, Noise) - Man, sometimes, I yearn for a simpler time, back when you'd hear a metal dude sing with gruff growly voice, then see an interview and realize that it wasn't very far off from his natural speaking voice. Dudes like Tom G. Warrior and Cronos really did just sound like that, and Max Cavalera really does talk like Captain Caveman. Not like these kids today, just trying way too hard, all "GRRRRRRRR, DIS ID MAH SCAWWY VOICE" or whatever. Y'all ain't evil; y'all ain't nothing.

Chrome Division - Doomsday Rock 'N Roll (2006, Nuclear Blast) - This is a cool concept for a band, (a bunch of Norse black metal dudes getting together to make leather-clad Motorhead style stuff) and the song that they made a video out of and put on compilations CDs, "Serial Killer," was an absolute monster. But god damn, this kinda sucked as a whole. At least they had the decency to put the good song first, so I didn't have to needlessly suffer through the rest of it.

*Chuck Berry - 20th Century Masters: The Best of Chuck Berry (1999, MCA) - When I was a little kid, "My Ding-A-Ling" would come on the radio sometimes, and it would be the best thing ever, because HAHA THE DUDE IS MAKING CRYPTIC REFERENCES TO FIDDLING WITH HIS DICK, AND ACCUSES THE AUDIENCE OF DOING THE SAME, HA HA, IT'S FROM THE 70S! Anyway, then it came out that he liked to pee on folks, because innocence left the earth right around the time Reagan got reelected.

Clenched Fist - Welcome to Memphis (2002, Thorp) - Sometime after high school ended, my dude Joe (of "getting detention for terrorizing the librarian with Satanic PowerPoint presentations" fame) told me how he was the new bass player for this band, and they were kind of a big deal, especially locally, and he was hell of pumped as a result. So I got similarly pumped when I found out they had a full-length album coming out nationwide, only to discover that Clenched Fist went through bass players the way Spinal Tap went through drummers, and he might have been one of three or four dudes they went through in a year or some such, and wasn't even on this. Later, I ordered one of their old demo tapes, and the main dude Juicy Joel sent me a bonus tape of some demos and live stuff that were otherwise unreleased, but the tape was fucked up, and the live parts got all distorted and lowered in volume until it was almost nonexistent. I wasn't going to complain though, because it was a free bonus and the two studio-sounding tracks worked and were good. Don't know if they ever got officially put out anywhere. Huh.

Corrosion of Conformity - Blind (1991, Columbia - My copy is the 1995 bonus track version) - As far as I know, the Karl Agell-fronted groove metal period of C.O.C. that happened between them being a hardcore/thrash band and playing stoner rock is like the Tony Martin Black Sabbath period that's kind of glossed over by history. But "Dance of the Dead" was strong enough that not only was this the first thing of theirs that I got, but it was also one of my original Columbia House One-Cent Dozen. If the system had one neck, he'd glady break it, you guys. An important aspect of the culture in my teen years was how in a post-Headbanger's Ball/pre-internet world, Beavis and Butthead was our only source of information for all things both heavy and metallic in nature. Without that show, I wouldn't have this CD and most of you would have no idea that Rob Zombie ever existed, probably.

Corrosion of Conformity - Deliverance (1994, Columbia) - This was the point where C.O.C. let Pepper Keenan sing and started doing a real Black Sabbathy thing, and it worked insanely well, and this rules. Upon gaining access to an internet-connected computer in 1998 and learning that MIDI files existed, I found one of "Clean My Wounds" and did a sad version of jamming out to that thing for a while, because I didn't have this CD, and had neither the internet speed nor the hard drive space for an MP3 download. And maaaan, just a minute, I want to find that again now. AW HELL YEAH

Corrosion of conformity - Wiseblood (1996, Columbia) - For some reason, this Cd was a major huge-ass deal when it came out, so if I remember correctly, it was an early Columbia House purchase of mine, and man, they must have just been overly excited about a brief James Hetfield cameo or something, because I never could get into this. I mean, it's not *bad* by any means, but it's very much a record that immediately leaves your head completely as soon you you take it out of the player and instills you with no strong desire to put it back in. I'll be generous and throw this on the "maybe give it another chance someday" pile.

Corrosion of Conformity - America's Volume Dealer (DualDisc - 2000, Silverline) - I... really don't know why I bought this. I was kinda sour on C.O.C. after Wiseblood, and this had no real strong recommendations from people I trust with things like that. I think it was just really cheap, possibly even a used copy, and I get impulsive sometimes. I think I've played this once, and not even all the way through, and I've never flipped it over to the DVD side.

Crisis - Deathshead Extermination (1996 Metal Blade) - This was one of those bands where you hear them for the first time, and you just really want to like them so bad, because the concept is just insane. Like they had the craziest goddamn singer you ever heard, like she could sing, do metal-ass growls, death metal grunts, and occasional bizarre squeaky shit, and it wouldn't so much be all in one song as occasionally all happening in the same verse or even the same line. But I dunno, I don't think I ever made it much past the "oh man, these guys are going to be cool as hell someday" point with them, and there are a couple decent songs on here, but they really never did get cool as hell, you guys.

Crisis - The Hollowing (1997, Metal Blade) - On this one, Crisis kind of slowed down and kept things under control a little more, and that's usually when crazy weirdo bands get good, but I guess the weirdo craziness was their charm. This led to a really sad period eventually, where they had gotten dropped by Metal Blade and probably could have landed in a bunch of places, but had this weird obsession with getting on a major label, and I can remember reading interviews on Blabbermouth with Karyn Crisis talking about big plans to "subvert the mainstream," but mostly, it just meant putting out some kinda nu-metal-ish demos on mp3.com and gothing up their look a bunch, while still getting utterly ignored by major labels, as far as anyone could tell. It took them like a hundred years to put out another record as a result, and by then, no one cared anymore. Ouch.

Cynic - Focus (1993, Roadrunner - I have the 2004 bonus tracks version) - This record taught me a harsh lesson about blindly buying a CD (even if it was a BMG buy one, get one free deal) based on good reviews without at least listening to clips first. This is a major landmark masterpiece of widely-hailed genius, and it fucking sucks, you guys. It is boring as all hell, and all the vocals are done with these robot voice effects over them, all "YES, MIGHTY MEGATRON. RAVAGE, LASERBEAK, RUMBLE, EJECT. OPERATION: TEDIUM" or some Soundwave-ass bullshit. I hate this so much. God damn, this is a piece of shit, fuck.