What is this?  It’s a thing. A thing I started so many years ago, with a Geocities account, a Sacred Reich song stuck in my head, a complete lack of any social life, and a dream. I can’t recall what the dream was or whether it was an actual good dream, but fourteen years (oh god), several hundred dollars, a name change or two, and countless space provider/web hosting changes later, (If I remember correctly, the progression goes Geocities, Tripod, Fortunecity, Crosswinds, Tripod again, ChamberGates, and finally – I hope – HostGator.) here we are. It’s a website about everything and nothing at the same time, a throwback to when the internet was more about sitting at a desk and hammering out a series of paragraphs about something you thought about in the bathroom for like an hour the day before, rather than holding a smartphone and making a maximum 140 word comment on how awesome the left turn you’re making is. Yet at the same time, it is a terrifying glimpse into the future. A terrible future.

In summation: People, I am full of shit, and this is a website all about that. For the enjoyment of myself, the four or five people I’ll bother to tell about this thing, the eight or nine people they’ll tell about it, and the seven million or so who will stumble in after Google searching for something depraved like dinosaur incest, this is the terrifying endgame of what started when I sat in a shitty dorm room in 1998 and typed the words “Web Surf Nicaragua” into a registration form.