Monthly Archives: July 2012

Good to know.
So, this guy right here? Apparently, he fucks like a beast.

This may come as a shock to you who know me as a well-traveled, worldly man of… the world, but prior to not quite a week ago, I had never been to an actual concert before. I mean, I had been to shows before, which is what you call it when there are maybe 60 people and you’re not delusional enough to call it a concert, and there were all the Blues Festival/B.B. King Day festivities as a kid, but those honestly had more of an “arts and crafts fair, usually without any arts or crafts” vibe going on. I can’t count those, because there are no lawn chairs at a concert. Then, my brother pops up and tells that this whole big thing is going down, and he needs people to go with him, because he’s surrounded by normal human beings who would recoil in horror at anything that even looked like Slayer, much less sounded like them. So tickets were bought, days off were requested, and me and Sarah hopped in a giant gold Caprice (For full metal effect, we should have taken the giant red Trans Am, but it had no air conditioning or insurance and runs at about eight gallons per mile, so to hell with that) to our former lands in the North. The actual trip there was uneventful, and I think I passed out at least once, so I won’t tell you about it. Actually I just did. What the hell, man? (Also, unless otherwise noted, the  videos posted were filmed by YouTube peoples who go by the internet handles bustedface, shabby1975, and sciomancy6, then straight-up jacked via YouTube embed codes for use here. The photos were all by us, though.) (more…)

A full report on the Rockstar Mayhem Festival in OKC coming sometime between now and Tuesday, in all likelihood. (Probably way sooner than that, though) For now, here’s a brief snippet of Slayer, with a special guest appearance from Jerry Seinfeld’s good friend Elaine.

…and this is the image that shall accompany every single article about the Penny Arcade Kickstarter, everywhere.

Dudes, sittin’ on the crapper checking the Twitters, (I’m not going to lie and say I was somewhere else; I keeps it real. You know that.) and the most marvelous news was reported to me by the tiny devils that live inside my phone. See, there’s this internet-type comic strip called Penny Arcade. If you’re a dork, you’ve probably heard of it, but if you’re not a dork, you might have, as well; it’s kind of a big deal. And there’s this other website out there called Kickstarter, where people basically beg for money, to do creative things with it, at least in theory. And sometime not too long ago, the dudes that run Penny Arcade decided to start a Kickstarter to accept donations, so that they can run their website without having to run advertisements. I don’t think you understand what the whole big deal is there, so I’ll try to explain. (more…)

ROCK OUT WOOOOOOOOThis was the first Google Image Search result for “rocking Sentra,” and as such, I feel it is appropriate.

Yes, my gentle readers, (All seven or so of you? Christ.) it’s another multi-part, ongoing thing that I’ll probably abandon really fast, but you’re not paying for this, so quiet, you. Anyway. A while back, I found this site, Rate Your Music, where you search out and enter all the musical crap you own, and do things like rate it, review it, and make really snooty, unnecessary, and/or completely asinine lists regarding it, (The world does not need a top 500 list for a given year, because if it’s made by one person, that person is a goddamn liar.) however you see fit. And being a complete and utter dork, I did that. Or at least I mostly did that, because after a while, it occurred to me that I have way too much crap, and it struck me that I couldn’t actually rate some of it, because I had barely even listened to it. You see, between the acquisition of fast internet and ensuing complete moral lapse that happened around 2002 and the one time around 2006 when I was kind of semi honkey-rich and just wouldn’t stop raiding clearance and used bins at Hastings for $3 metal CDs, I accumulated a whole bunch of crap, and most of it got lost in the shuffle.

But now, I find myself with a thirty-plus minute drive home from work, coupled with about an hour or so a week of yard-mowing time, and god dammit, it’s time to pull some of this crap out (or, you know, load it on various mp3-playing new-fangled dee-vices) and actually listen to it, and justify its existence on my hard drive or shelf. And since I’m apt to do that sort of thing, I’m sharing the results of this half-baked musical quest with you, the internet. (Hi, internet.) Just keep in mind, though, that I’m not a professional music reviewer, and I’m probably not that good of an amateur one, so this is mostly going to be a bunch of “well, this sounds like so-and-so, crossed with so-and-so,” and “ha ha, oh man, this sucks.” But once again, you’re not paying for this.