Tagged: the rise of the machines

spambotEver since the triumphant launch of Terrible Violence, here are some of the great things that poorly-disguised spambots have  unsuccessfully tried to say in my comments:

“Utterly pent content, Really enjoyed reading.” – kopi luwak terbaik, spammer of some sort of Asian coffee.

“I loved as much as you will receive carried out right here. The sketch is attractive, your authored material stylish. nonetheless, you command get bought an impatience over that you wish be delivering the following. unwell unquestionably come further formerly again since exactly the same nearly very often inside case you shield this hike. “ – cheap reseller hosting, spammer of… cheap reseller hosting?

“Tremendous! This particular is all I can think pertaining to a blog post like this excellent. This kind of is literally a notably explanatory article post on the blog. You just need to know a lot about this amazing.” – Travel Guide, spammer of something obviously travel-related.

“I conceive other website owners should take this web site as an model, very clean and wonderful user pleasant pattern . “ – Jed Calwell, spammer of something, but the link he posted absolutely did not explain what it was at all.

“I think other website proprietors should take this web site as an example , very clean and wonderful user friendly pattern .” – Malik Tjendekia Junus, spammer of something in a language I don’t understand, which was shockingly not the same thing Jed Calwell was pimping.

“This is a great blog you have here,” “Wow Excellent blog!” and “Very nice very nice stuff you have on ur blog your above excellence” – all posted within one 24-hour period by  Humor News, spammer of some website that has a bunch of pirated movies, a picture of a car with a giant penis made of snow on top of it, and a link to “The 11 Worst Vagina Tattoos of All Time,” that tries to trick you into giving it your Facebook password, and can only be exited by closing the browser tab.

“I simply want to tell you that I’m all new to blogging and site-building and certainly enjoyed you’re page. Likely I’m planning to bookmark your blog . You surely have excellent articles and reviews. Thank you for revealing your webpage.” – Matthew C. Kriner, spammer of a site that no one paid the bill for, because it’s just got one of those placeholder pages up instead of a real website.

Sweet Jesus, someday, I need to tell people that this thing exists, so I can get comments from actual humans.

(For the full joke, just imagine this with a big rasta-colored lightning bolt hitting it)

 So, several months later than originally planned, in a new town, in a new (well, new to me) house, and with a new job, (with the same company) I make my triumphant return to an Internet that probably forgot I existed somewhere around mid-2001. In future times, I’ll actually make substantial updates to this site again, with a bunch of ideas that popped into my head at various times when I was either too busy moving or too disconnected from the internet to act on any of them, and eventually, I’ll make a complete return to normalcy, where I completely ignore this site I pay actual money that I need for and just talk about how much I hate Mike Martz on Armchair Linebacker. But for now, I’ll give you a quick rundown (or one that was intended to be quick until I actually started typing) of some of the ins, outs, and arounds of the first new job I’ve had since late 2003.